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The fire within me

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It feels like fire within me, sometimes roaring, sometimes just embers

smoldering below the surface and not too awful – just there, just constantly there.

This pain can lead to questioning – I can endure if I know why.

I can go through if I know the outcome.  But is that right?

Pain — whether physical, emotional, relational, financial – does it always point to something being wrong?

I sit with it and examine it, scrutinize it.  When did it start, when will it end?  Why are some days better than others, where is it leading me?

I shift my inward gaze from the burning to focus on the Goldsmith whose breath is fanning the flames.  Melt me, purify me, mold me.  Help me to trust the process.

Is there a sanctifying gift in the pain?

Can I stand in the furnace and allow my ropes to be burned away?

Can I walk in the midst of the fire, and not even smell like smoke?

Can I dance in the flames?

Kim Yinger

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